WTF?

We have done major renovations to our house pretty much from the day we took possession.  It has been a work in progress...with brief periods of just living in it and catching our breath before starting another project. 

One project that has been waiting to be finished is the treads of our new stairs.  They have just been plywood for a few years.  There is a big long boring story why...it involves the cost of bamboo nosing which isn't as interesting as it sounds.  In the past few weeks my husband decided to make the nosing himself, saving us hundreds of dollars.  They look awesome and I am so grateful that I am married to someone with mad skills in this area.

We are having my husband's side of the family over for a late Christmas celebration in a few days.  Last week he decided that he didn't want to have another family gathering with that project still unfinished....it was a good excuse for a deadline. 

He worked diligently making up all of the nosings...pumping them out with alarming speed.  They look awesome and we couldn't wait to see them in place. 

We were 4 days out from the big day when he saw a show on tv that changed the course of next few days...and the likelihood of the stairs being finished in time to show them off to his family.  This program was about coupons.  About people who collect coupons to such a degree that they can buy $800 worth of groceries and only pay $20.  They have garages full of literally thousands of boxes of Total cereal...or hand soap.  So much that they often donate these items to their churches to distribute to the needy.  This is a very noble thing to do...and quite the hobby.  It is usually a hobby born out of need...they started doing this coupon cutting because they didn't have enough money to see them through to the next paycheck.

We are not in the same predicament.  We live a comfortable life, and never have the gut wrenching feeling of wondering how we are going to make ends meet.  However, this doesn't stop my husband from becoming obsessed with the concept of getting something for nothing through the art of coupon collecting. 

At first I thought he was just intrigued...just curious about how this works and how many opportunities for this activity are available in Canada.  However, the favorites file on my computer tells a different tale.  There are now half a dozen coupon sites there.  This puzzled me a little but I didn't give it much thought.

I headed out later that day to go to Costco on a mission to buy the necessary supplies for the upcoming late Christmas gathering.  However, everyone else in the world was there to get ready for New Year's Eve so it was a hot mess in the land of over-spending. 

I don't like shopping in these situations.  I get very grouchy and unpleasant.  I just want everyone to piss off and leave me to do my shopping.  I always end up feeling that my need for 2 litres of maple syrup should somehow trump their need for 2 litres of maple syrup and therefore they have no earthly right to be standing in my way. 

My common decency was hanging on by a thread when I received a call from home.  I figured that there was something that needed to be added to the endless list of things I was to hunt for in this square mile of gluttony and consumerism.  Sadly, this was not the case.

My newly obsessed husband was calling to let me know that he had found a series of coupons that would allow him to purchase some ungodly amount of Degree antiperspirant for under a dollar.  Immediately I thought of how much I don't like Degree antiperspirant.  I then thought of our garage filled with cases of pit-stick.  Why?  Whhhhyyyyy, I thought.  Then he told me something that stunned me even more.  He told me that these coupons were expired.  What the hell?  Why are you calling me?  Why is this conversation even taking place at all?  Don't you realize I am in the pit of hell...trying to hunt and gather for when your family comes over?  Is there a coupon that will make this stop?  Is there some online offer we can sign up for by giving away all of our inner-most secret information that will make you go back to installing our stairs? 

There is no such coupon. 

I tell him that this is excellent news about the expired antiperspirant deal of the century and then ask him how the stairs are coming along.  He then told me a lie.

Long story short...my question is this:

WTF???